I was 2 [A4] pages into an in depth and passionate piece about climate change, when I realised, no one cares about climate change anymore, that’s so 2012. Now we’ve decided it’ll be too expensive and too much hard work to do anything about it so we may as well live in denial and blame all our problems on immigration. So instead of trying to make what little difference I felt I could within my limited means (without having to go outside), I thought I’d return to my more popular posts, of my shitty artwork. I don’t have a scanner anymore, so it’s photographs of artwork, which adds an extra layer to the artiness of it all. Pictures of drawn pictures, reflecting the technology obsessed youth, how we are all experiencing life through a lens and all that.
I can just about draw breasts. I love breasts. Boobs, whatever you want to call them. I have an insatiable appetite for them. This piece represents the patriarchal society and how women are objectified, look at her face, she ain’t happy about that.
Flat Mate’s Shoes.
As well as breasts, I really like drawing these terrible flowers
Drawn Man Dragged Off Page.
There was once a whole man on this sketch pad, but They came and got him. This is clever as I ripped the page, making it more immersive. It looked better ages ago before I left it under the sofa and it got flattened. Trust me, if you had seen it when it was first done you’d have been blown away, both metaphorically and literally. The force of this drawing would have hit you square in the chest and blown you across the street.
For those that can’t read my writing, the man is saying “Your art work is derivative.” To which the woman replies “So is your face.” The glasses symbolise her intellect, her boobs symbolise her boobs. On closer inspection I also realise my flies are undone… this is basically porn.
I Enjoy Taking Pictures of Myself Whilst on the Toilet.
It’s like an addiction. I’ve had a haircut since then, if you saw my hair now you’d be blown away, metaphorically and….
This represents societies self-obsession and how even though everybody poops, we think our own bowel movements are somehow special. Mine are.
The Judgemental Hand of God.
What is he really angry about I want to know.
A Pictorial Representation of the Phrase – Better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick.
For those of you that wondered about this phrase. It’s origins lie in one single event where a man was poked in the eye with a blunt stick. He really did not enjoy it. It gave him a new perspective on life. When anything bad happened he would shrug and say ‘better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick.’ this was a sound philosophy until he once had both his eyes poked with two blunt sticks, which rationally speaking is worse than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick. He had a crisis immediately after as his world view was shaken and unfortunately killed himself.
Close Up of an Oil Candle.
Where’s My Millions?
Having viewed my work, you are probably asking yourself the same question. Where are my millions? Would no doubt be a more grammatically correct question, but it doesn’t flow as well. My flat mate told me this is the best thing I’ve done… art wise and in general. That makes me very sad.
Buy my surrealist book for .99p do it or I’ll sneak into your house and rearrange your furniture. It has a five star review from a random person, I don’t know them at all. I certainly didn’t ask them to rate it 5 stars in a vain bid to sell more copies. Shut up!