We Lowly Millennials.

First let me tell you, my computer broke, so I wrote this hastily on a computer in a library (they have computers now!) and I only had 30 mins to do so. Then I copied it to my phone and from my phone am pasting it here. No proof reading was done, it’s not very good and it was more venting on my part than anything else.

Also, I still don’t know what millennial really means, or quite why it requires 2 Ns.

 

In the space of a month or so, I’ve gone from being a copy editor to working in a pub. I had to work hard to obtain this job in said pub. Who’d have thought that we’d one day live in a world where even bar work was a competitive industry. I saw a line outside the Job Centre the other day, there were eight people fighting over an application form for Clarks. Some one pulled a knife – he had a degree in astrophysics.

I have been applying for many jobs. It is a soul destroying exercise in futility for anyone in their 20s. No matter how you approach it, you’ll always get the lazy responses ‘thanks, but no.’ Or, worse than that, you’ll get ‘you have not got enough experience.’ If you ask how you go about getting the necessary experience when every company turns you down for your lack of experience they mutter something unintelligible before pointing behind you and saying ‘what the fuck is that?’ Like a fool you turn, and when you turn back they are gone.

If you ask what happens when all the people with experience eventually die, their faces adopt a far away quality, as though they are staring into some murky abyss, before whispered words escape their puckered lips ‘…then God help us.’

The problem is, most of us were conned into going to university, and for most of us it was a con. A massive fat CON. We were lured into it by talk of walking out the other end being more employable than those who didn’t go. We were told not to worry about the massive debt, because our degrees would propel us into roles so well paid that it’ll be gone within the week. All of this turned out to be a lie. Everyone has a degree, and when everyone has a degree than we may as well not have bothered, especially if your degree is in performing arts.

I suppose it doesn’t help that I went to the University of Hertfordshire, which is less a university and more a community centre catering for unemployed millennials. Which brings me on to the crux of my point.

What the fuck is a millennial? I think I am one, but I don’t know what it means. Everywhere I read or hear it, it sounds patronising, dismissive and dripping in ridicule. Often when we lament the lack of jobs, those in positions of authority say “there’s plenty out there, you just have to look hard for it.” or the problem with millennials is we “have a huge sense of entitlement,” and “want success handed to us on a plate” (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4232696/Millenials-generation-huge-sense-entitlement.html)

Others say the problem lies within our work ethic and maybe we should all work in bars and restaurants and do so happily without complaint. Stefanie Williams writing for the Huffington Post writes about her success in The Problem With Millennials and Work Ethic: All of this was afforded to me not in the first month I was working at a restaurant, but after I put in the hours, made the sacrifices and sucked up my pride in order to make ends meet and figure out what I wanted to do and how to do it.” (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stefanie-williams/the-problem-millennials-work-ethic-talia-yelp_b_9282244.html)

Well done Stefanie, though as well as hours and hard work you missed out huge dollops of luck. However, with astronomical rent prices climbing ever hire and even those restaurant jobs being harder to come by as well as the cost of living forever climbing, we millennials will be aged and haggard by the time we start earning enough to make a proper go at life. We’re the first generation that on the whole, will be worse off when compared to our parents. Most of us will never own our own home and as to having a career progression to boast about, the vast majority can forget about that, what with our chaotic Cvs. Worked in one bar, worked in another bar, had a brief stint in IT support, was made redundant as it was outsourced, worked in another bar.

As for being self-entitled, we have lived and are currently living in one of the worst economic crisis in recent history. An economic crisis that was not our doing. In fact, we had nothing to do with it. Yet we must be the ones to fix it, we have to be the ones to suffer the low wages, the lack of jobs, the crushing financial burdens. I say again, most of us will never be able to afford our own home. Either because they’re too expensive, or because we’ll just end up having that nuclear war we’ve been talking about for so many decades.

Of course we expect a good job, we were promised a good job, coaxed into spending a lot of money on higher education due to the that promise. Of course we want more than bar work, as we approach our mid-twenties. These are the years we should be starting on our path to a career we can be proud of. Soon we’ll be in our thirties, maybe wanting to squeeze some of our own children into an already over-populated world, how can we afford to do that when we’re barely getting by on our shifts at The Wobbly Cow or The Fat Crustacean or The Whorish Whore or Wetherspoons?

Just give me a fucking job!

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EU Referendum False Facts

(the below is intended as a bit of silliness. I feel the need to say so in case I’m accused by one of my 6 viewers of misrepresenting arguments)

 

The EU Referendum is rapidly approaching, I wrote on this matter some time ago https://wordpress.com/posts/thefuzzyrambler.wordpress.com, there it is. Due to the way time works, it is now closer than it was back then. The thing is, I thought the Stay campaign had it in the bag, what with the support of most business and professionals across a wide range of specialities, whereas Brexit has Boris Johnson and Donald Trump.

However, speaking to people about the whole thing, we may be genuinely at risk of leaving the EU. It’s a difficult to one to debate, because upon trying to come out with arguments people stop you midsentence. ‘You have been led astray by propaganda!’ they will say, ‘What about ….’ And then I say ‘You’ve been led astray by propaganda. Lies, deceit and over exaggeration all of it.’ This point of the argument can go on for some time.

As it stands, it seems none of us really know what will happen should we leave, or what will happen should we stay. It’s safe to say, most of us know nothing and rely on the people that should know something to inform us, but it turns out, they don’t know anything. So, for the first time, I am going to present an objective, unbiased review of both arguments along with all the facts and figures required for you to make a rational decision come voting day.

COST:

It is true that it costs a large amount of money to be a member of the EU, the figure seems to vary depending on who you speak to, but under the freedom of information act, I asked one of the top guys in the EU and he informed me that the current cost of membership stands at £1.2 billion a week. There is a premium membership that costs £2.1 billion which allows you more storage space and free marketing, but we don’t currently go for that one… I mean we’re sceptical about being a part of it in the first place.

The Leavers state that this money could be put to better things, namely the NHS. However, I don’t think this is wise at all, I mean they’re only going to spend it all on drugs!

More’s to the point, we have quite a large amount of national debt. If we save this money, it won’t be ploughed into the NHS, it’ll pay off the international loan sharks that’ll break all of our legs if we don’t. Or, it will be wasted on shit we don’t need. Think about it, that’s just human nature. If you get a tax rebate, you don’t save it or spend it on important things like paying your council tax or investing in your child’s future. No, you go and buy lots of expensive stuff you have absolutely no need for.

So you can see the argument is flawed here.

The Stay campaign reason that this membership fee is vital, as currently the variety offered by Netflix isn’t as good as it could be, and the EU is currently working on some interesting productions. Sure we could stream it illegally, but then you wouldn’t be supporting the industry.

However, this is a contentious issue as we could just buy the DVDs.

 

IMMIGRATION:

BREXIT:

If only our ancestors knew when they left Africa to populate the rest of the world and breed with the Neanderthal what an issue they were going to create. They set a trend for people wanting to go to other countries.

Unlike their counterparts – Emigrants, who are fearless pioneers, taking their jobs and skills to better other nations, immigrants are lazy. They make no attempt to integrate with their new home, they keep adding sections to supermarkets – I mean what the fuck is a Polish sausage? What’s wrong with a good old fashioned English Sausage? It’s all very well these immigrants coming over here, but the sudden influx of their sausages is just something our infrastructure can’t handle! They steal everything not nailed down and if it is nailed down they steal the nails anyway.

Of course you could take the leftist view that immigration is a boon to the economy and wider relations. That growing up in a more diverse society is socially and politically healthier. But as soon as those opinions leave your mouth they’ll be snatched up by a thieving immigrant.

Or you could take the middling view that immigration is neither good nor bad, it purely depends on the level and the economic climate, but then you’d be boring and no one would invite you to parties.

Brexit has taken a strong stance in immigration. If we leave the EU, anyone with a vaguely foreign sounding name will be immediately deported and the highly skilled jobs will be given to native English people, regardless of their qualifications. Those that sit on benches early in the morning drinking foreign beers will be replaced by good old fashioned English alcoholics drinking proper English beers!

STAY:

They don’t really mind all that much. They quite like Polish Sausages. Everyone’s pretty chill. Within the EU everyone likes everyone and we shouldn’t put up barriers man. Staying in the EU is good for everyone. Why?

Because it is that’s why!

TERRORISM/SECURITY:

BREXIT:

As is well documented, UK citizens are peace loving creatures by nature, and all terrorists come from abroad, utilising the freedom of movement the EU allows. There are no checks required in this. The open borders means literally anyone can walk through, carrying as many high powered weapons as they like. Not a single British person has joined the “SO CALLED ISLAMIC STATE” And that’s a fact. Security will be much better outside the EU… why?

Because it just will alright? We have the information! Don’t listen to what the Stay voters have to say, don’t be drawn in by their propaganda.

STAY:

Terrorism is caused by the marginalised and the vulnerable being targeted by positions of trust and authority and can crop up in any society anywhere, regardless whether we are in the EU or not. In terms of security, it won’t be much different over all… I mean the French secret services wouldn’t keep us out of the loop if they uncovered a plot to attack Britain, just out of spite for leaving their club?

 

ECONOMICS/TRADE:

BREXIT:

By 2020 they will have negotiated a trade agreement that will be mutually beneficial. Any negative impacts of leaving the single market will be negated by this point… in fact – it will be better. We will become a global power to be reckoned with.

STAY:

We already have a pretty good deal that’s already been negotiated. Have you watched Game of Thrones recently?

CONCLUSION:

All in all remaining in the EU would be completely catastrophic for us, but conversely leaving the EU will be just as catastrophic. We’re fucked. But ultimately, if you think about it… no one really cares.