My collection of short stories The Tiny Compendium of Ridiculousness has sold around 50-60 copies. This means I only need to sell about 700-800 more for it to be considered a catastrophic failure. It is perhaps very niche in its appeal and marketed entirely on this blog and my Instagram account, so 50-60 copies is surprising. Whilst I attempt to find an publisher for my actual hard work and full serious novel (three rejections so far), I keep myself sane by writing more short stories. Therefore, it is a joy and a privilege to announce that there will indeed be a follow up to The Tiny Compendium of Ridiculousness called The Minute Collection of Absurdity.
This is a work in progress at this moment and I can only confirm a handful of the short stories that will be appearing in it. They are as follows:
The Man who Believed he was an Octopus:
This has appeared in an early draft on this very blog if you were paying attention, which of course you were not. It got 8 likes, 8! It follows the story of a young boy growing up and struggling to accept himself for who he truly is, which is an octopus.
The Establishment’s Eating Habits.
Frank works in the Houses of Parliament. He regularly sees, and sometimes interacts with, members of the governing elite. Had this been published sooner I’d be hailed as the genius who correctly predicted the EU referendum result and the American Presidential Election.
Anyway, Frank works in the Houses of Parliament. It is a cold winter, a now independent Scotland is clamouring for war. They finally got what they wanted, only to find that reality is always a bitch. Frank begins to grow suspicious of the elected officials he works for. He always sees them with food, but never eating. Against the advise of friends and colleagues he investigates to find that it’s not just their own heads that they constantly shove up their arses.
The Woman Who Has Everything and is Incredibly Happy.
Money cannot buy you happiness, but it can buy you things and that’s pretty much the same.
The Life Lesson.
Various people from various backgrounds all do shit and learn something.
The Snake Summoning Tennis Racket.
Jamie Kendall wants nothing more than to win Wimbledon. She asks her local demon to grant her this one wish. The demon gives her the greatest tennis racket that ever did exist, forged from the spine of an angel and the guts of … I dunno… Jesus? she cannot lose if she uses that racket. However, every time she hits something with it, it summons snakes.
and maybe some more, who knows the last two were just made up on the spot.
Download the Tiny Compendium of Ridiculousness.