EU Referendum False Facts

(the below is intended as a bit of silliness. I feel the need to say so in case I’m accused by one of my 6 viewers of misrepresenting arguments)

 

The EU Referendum is rapidly approaching, I wrote on this matter some time ago https://wordpress.com/posts/thefuzzyrambler.wordpress.com, there it is. Due to the way time works, it is now closer than it was back then. The thing is, I thought the Stay campaign had it in the bag, what with the support of most business and professionals across a wide range of specialities, whereas Brexit has Boris Johnson and Donald Trump.

However, speaking to people about the whole thing, we may be genuinely at risk of leaving the EU. It’s a difficult to one to debate, because upon trying to come out with arguments people stop you midsentence. ‘You have been led astray by propaganda!’ they will say, ‘What about ….’ And then I say ‘You’ve been led astray by propaganda. Lies, deceit and over exaggeration all of it.’ This point of the argument can go on for some time.

As it stands, it seems none of us really know what will happen should we leave, or what will happen should we stay. It’s safe to say, most of us know nothing and rely on the people that should know something to inform us, but it turns out, they don’t know anything. So, for the first time, I am going to present an objective, unbiased review of both arguments along with all the facts and figures required for you to make a rational decision come voting day.

COST:

It is true that it costs a large amount of money to be a member of the EU, the figure seems to vary depending on who you speak to, but under the freedom of information act, I asked one of the top guys in the EU and he informed me that the current cost of membership stands at £1.2 billion a week. There is a premium membership that costs £2.1 billion which allows you more storage space and free marketing, but we don’t currently go for that one… I mean we’re sceptical about being a part of it in the first place.

The Leavers state that this money could be put to better things, namely the NHS. However, I don’t think this is wise at all, I mean they’re only going to spend it all on drugs!

More’s to the point, we have quite a large amount of national debt. If we save this money, it won’t be ploughed into the NHS, it’ll pay off the international loan sharks that’ll break all of our legs if we don’t. Or, it will be wasted on shit we don’t need. Think about it, that’s just human nature. If you get a tax rebate, you don’t save it or spend it on important things like paying your council tax or investing in your child’s future. No, you go and buy lots of expensive stuff you have absolutely no need for.

So you can see the argument is flawed here.

The Stay campaign reason that this membership fee is vital, as currently the variety offered by Netflix isn’t as good as it could be, and the EU is currently working on some interesting productions. Sure we could stream it illegally, but then you wouldn’t be supporting the industry.

However, this is a contentious issue as we could just buy the DVDs.

 

IMMIGRATION:

BREXIT:

If only our ancestors knew when they left Africa to populate the rest of the world and breed with the Neanderthal what an issue they were going to create. They set a trend for people wanting to go to other countries.

Unlike their counterparts – Emigrants, who are fearless pioneers, taking their jobs and skills to better other nations, immigrants are lazy. They make no attempt to integrate with their new home, they keep adding sections to supermarkets – I mean what the fuck is a Polish sausage? What’s wrong with a good old fashioned English Sausage? It’s all very well these immigrants coming over here, but the sudden influx of their sausages is just something our infrastructure can’t handle! They steal everything not nailed down and if it is nailed down they steal the nails anyway.

Of course you could take the leftist view that immigration is a boon to the economy and wider relations. That growing up in a more diverse society is socially and politically healthier. But as soon as those opinions leave your mouth they’ll be snatched up by a thieving immigrant.

Or you could take the middling view that immigration is neither good nor bad, it purely depends on the level and the economic climate, but then you’d be boring and no one would invite you to parties.

Brexit has taken a strong stance in immigration. If we leave the EU, anyone with a vaguely foreign sounding name will be immediately deported and the highly skilled jobs will be given to native English people, regardless of their qualifications. Those that sit on benches early in the morning drinking foreign beers will be replaced by good old fashioned English alcoholics drinking proper English beers!

STAY:

They don’t really mind all that much. They quite like Polish Sausages. Everyone’s pretty chill. Within the EU everyone likes everyone and we shouldn’t put up barriers man. Staying in the EU is good for everyone. Why?

Because it is that’s why!

TERRORISM/SECURITY:

BREXIT:

As is well documented, UK citizens are peace loving creatures by nature, and all terrorists come from abroad, utilising the freedom of movement the EU allows. There are no checks required in this. The open borders means literally anyone can walk through, carrying as many high powered weapons as they like. Not a single British person has joined the “SO CALLED ISLAMIC STATE” And that’s a fact. Security will be much better outside the EU… why?

Because it just will alright? We have the information! Don’t listen to what the Stay voters have to say, don’t be drawn in by their propaganda.

STAY:

Terrorism is caused by the marginalised and the vulnerable being targeted by positions of trust and authority and can crop up in any society anywhere, regardless whether we are in the EU or not. In terms of security, it won’t be much different over all… I mean the French secret services wouldn’t keep us out of the loop if they uncovered a plot to attack Britain, just out of spite for leaving their club?

 

ECONOMICS/TRADE:

BREXIT:

By 2020 they will have negotiated a trade agreement that will be mutually beneficial. Any negative impacts of leaving the single market will be negated by this point… in fact – it will be better. We will become a global power to be reckoned with.

STAY:

We already have a pretty good deal that’s already been negotiated. Have you watched Game of Thrones recently?

CONCLUSION:

All in all remaining in the EU would be completely catastrophic for us, but conversely leaving the EU will be just as catastrophic. We’re fucked. But ultimately, if you think about it… no one really cares.

 

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